Here is a promise that I will press into our first kiss:
I will love you like the Sun must love Venus,
holding it closer than the rest of the planets,
keeping it warm, and well-kept, cherished.
I cannot promise safety.
I am not a life-raft.
I was a life-boat once for a girl
whose eyes were meadows that I got lost in,
looking for sheep to shelter, and sadness to shear away.
So here is another promise:
I will not treat you the way she treated me.
We will fight sometimes;
maybe with saddened words and heavy hearts,
but morning comes, and then there is the light
that makes us weightless.
I promise that I will love you
the best I can, for as long as your heart
and mine sing the same tune of Us.
toil in the Garden
beating hearts with bloodied whims
unwhetted tongues, unseeing eyes
fruitless wombs of the chest, of the mind
come together to breathe
the fresh air for the first time-
the sweetness is a lie.
it is false upon his tongue
the fruit has ripened, the air is stale.
no- it is soured.
there is no give here
robbing of the flesh-
there is no other way.
doomed, from the first utterance
the birth of anger
that breathes through the boughs
red fruit. red lips. red chest.
from the broken chest comes a fresh heart
beating with stolen blood.
banished blood. but
the flesh remembers.
the mouth laughs, but
the eyes remember.
MONSTERS hide in caves
they have BIG teeth and BIG hands
and you CANNOT escape,
you can NEVER escape.
this is what they told me.
in these stories, there is always a victim.
they are small; they are quiet.
they are punished
or they find new courage
in a hardened heart.
i could never be a monster.
i am small. i am quiet.
myth tells me i could only destined
for glory through death
but i am of the earth.
i am of the flesh.
there is more to me than
pain. i am neither martyr nor saint
i am breathing. i am here.
i am small. i am quiet.
My head is thick and dull for want of feeling.
I am at the perfume counter, trying to find you.
Who am I shopping for?
She is magma made flesh, the vengeance of the gods,
for my irreverence. Hellfire in high heels-
and she smells like sitting in the park
after three days of rain, when suddenly
The sun comes out. The clouds break.
How do you say “I love you”
to Athena, Artemis, and Aphrodite come flesh?
She could smile and my eyes would burn out.
She could laugh and my ears would ring forever.
If she pulled me close, I could not breathe, and yet-
she will whither if never touched.
What is the life of a goddess on a pedestal?
Sacramental stone. It would take the highest heathen
to smash her.
What is a life alone?
If I could raise myself to the highest heavens,
If I could turn my body to smooth marble,
But I am a mortal, and so all I have is my
I love you.
I never want to burn through you
to scald my heart strings
with your bitter eyes.
Come straight into my veins
with all the ashes
you pull behind you.
Mix them with mine,
stay your kisses, your embrace
the ember of your hand against my waist.
I will touch your cold steel,
but I would never try to melt it.
Whatever cruel god forged your soul
would not want his work undone.
Instead, I ask to join you
in twilight; in starlight;
for mine was wrought from similar cloth
tempered in lust’s flame.
I ask you for what I have no right
because I am withering away;
I am aflame.
But I am betrayed by my bitter soul
a jaded heart
a black hole.
(he was cologne in a dress shirt and i destroyed him)
Hell. I am
(she was smiles with scraped knees and i forgot her)
if God should strike one face
from this Earth,
it would be me,
for I break faith with that which I treasure
most dearly, my dear.
(he was cynicism come flesh and i indulged him)
I remember- will never forget-
my hands upon your wasit
two ignorant wicks
I stirred. You
awoke me. I
curse me, curse me
to the old Gods
who asked for blood upon their altars
it will come out black
it is poisoned
the ground will be barren
for a thousand years
take their blessing
from my throat
rip it from me-
maybe I will be reborn
regret not opening to me your heart
I am only burning. You will only turn to ashes.
What once was rock is now flame-
what once was skin is now fire.
Bring yourself beyond warmth.
Let red seep into your core.
It is less insidious than ice.
The cold only robs you-
seeks to steal away each breath.
After awhile, its icicles begin to feel like fingers.
But it can not burn as the flesh.
It only melts away in tears.